What are Friends? (PART II)
Friends are LOVERS literally.
French authors Montaigne and La Bohétie had this amazing friendship that did not require any further explanations, any questions, any doubts on how TRUE their friendship was...they would simply say:
“because it was him, because it was me”
Now, even if you feel like you don't “merge into an item” with each one of your friends –mostly because, there may be different levels of connections in friendships, depending on what you share with your friends, how often you talk to them, what ya'll have in common (past experiences, hard times spent together...) – there still are reciprocate feelings and mutual values that should be common to any friendships:
TRUTHFULNESS
LOYALTY
UNDERSTANDING
COMPASSION
LOVE
TRUST
CARE
AFFECTION
ENCOURAGEMENT
INTEGRITY
CONSTANCY
Of course, you can add up to the list above, which is by no means comprehensive...
Now take step for a second...make a list of who you think your friends are...NOTICE that I did not say “true” or “real”friends...for there is no such thing as a fake friend. A friend is a friend. Period. It's funny how people always feel the need to add adjectives to words like “friends”, “love”, “feelings”, and so on...and say a “true” friend, “true” love, “real feelings”,...SMH I thought that Manichean visions of the world were overrated...especially after what happened in Iraq...but, seems like the world DOES need a good guy/bad guy explanation to everything.
Back to that list of friends...I have always said that I have three friends and it will always be that way. I still consider my three friends as friends, and even though they might disappoint me at times and vice versa, there are still there throughout the years. I don't believe in seasonal friendship smh...either you enter my life for a GOOD while on, or you will be kept at a distance FOREVER.
What about you? Do you really know those whom you consider as friends and what they are capable of doing in a variety of situations? Do you expect them to still be in your life in a decade?
I do not reckon that loyalty, truthfulness and dedication are easy values to live by...HOWEVER, it does not take much to ACT as you SAY. If you know, you cannot be loyal to your friends, then be a “buddy”...if you cannot be truthful, then don't promise them to always have their backs...if you don't know anything about dedication, then tell 'em that you are not sure if you are ready to give them as much as they give you... A FRIEND TEACHES YOU what you have yet to know or experience.
By any means, ANY MEANS...a friend will try to understand your actions and REACTIONS...when you take a closer look at it, there is a REASON for everything. And if they always fail to understand that your REactions might stem from their actions, then the best advice you can give them is to REevaluate their will to be friends with you and their ability to look within themselves in an effort of self introspection.
Last but not least, friendship is something that you SHARE...
If it is one way, then let it go. This was not friendship.
If someone does not want to be your friend, then tell them bye. Somebody else will be the friend that you have yet to welcome in your life.
If your “so-called” friend always hurts you, disappoints you, puts you through embarrassing situations and never even say: I apologize, I'm sorry for not being the friend whom you deserve, but I am more than willing to try again and be rewarded your trust, then don't push them away, just don't be their fools, in the name of FRIENDSHIP. Giving altruistically is a good thing...giving to ungrateful, unappreciative or greedy people is a mistake.
In my hard times, Miss Trena once told me: “GIVE TO THE NEEDY, NOT THE GREEDY”...I never forgot her words.
If you are in a need of a friend, I will be there for you and you will feel it in your heart; but NEVER expect me to be the fool of your selfishness.
On that word, if you ever blamed someone for not being the friend whom you would want them to be...look at yourself in the mirror for a good minute...WHAT DO YOU SEE? WHERE IS THE FRIEND IN YOU? DO YOU EVER DEMAND FOR THINGS YOU ARE NOT EVEN ABLE TO GIVE? WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE OF FRIENDSHIP? DO YOU EVEN APPRECIATE THE PERSON WHOM YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH? DO YOUR ACTIONS EVER CONTRADICT YOUR WORDS?...
What are FRIENDS really...besides LOVERS?
I'M OUT. PEACE.
*F*A*N*
Friends are LOVERS literally.
French authors Montaigne and La Bohétie had this amazing friendship that did not require any further explanations, any questions, any doubts on how TRUE their friendship was...they would simply say:
“because it was him, because it was me”
Now, even if you feel like you don't “merge into an item” with each one of your friends –mostly because, there may be different levels of connections in friendships, depending on what you share with your friends, how often you talk to them, what ya'll have in common (past experiences, hard times spent together...) – there still are reciprocate feelings and mutual values that should be common to any friendships:
TRUTHFULNESS
LOYALTY
UNDERSTANDING
COMPASSION
LOVE
TRUST
CARE
AFFECTION
ENCOURAGEMENT
INTEGRITY
CONSTANCY
Of course, you can add up to the list above, which is by no means comprehensive...
Now take step for a second...make a list of who you think your friends are...NOTICE that I did not say “true” or “real”friends...for there is no such thing as a fake friend. A friend is a friend. Period. It's funny how people always feel the need to add adjectives to words like “friends”, “love”, “feelings”, and so on...and say a “true” friend, “true” love, “real feelings”,...SMH I thought that Manichean visions of the world were overrated...especially after what happened in Iraq...but, seems like the world DOES need a good guy/bad guy explanation to everything.
Back to that list of friends...I have always said that I have three friends and it will always be that way. I still consider my three friends as friends, and even though they might disappoint me at times and vice versa, there are still there throughout the years. I don't believe in seasonal friendship smh...either you enter my life for a GOOD while on, or you will be kept at a distance FOREVER.
What about you? Do you really know those whom you consider as friends and what they are capable of doing in a variety of situations? Do you expect them to still be in your life in a decade?
I do not reckon that loyalty, truthfulness and dedication are easy values to live by...HOWEVER, it does not take much to ACT as you SAY. If you know, you cannot be loyal to your friends, then be a “buddy”...if you cannot be truthful, then don't promise them to always have their backs...if you don't know anything about dedication, then tell 'em that you are not sure if you are ready to give them as much as they give you... A FRIEND TEACHES YOU what you have yet to know or experience.
By any means, ANY MEANS...a friend will try to understand your actions and REACTIONS...when you take a closer look at it, there is a REASON for everything. And if they always fail to understand that your REactions might stem from their actions, then the best advice you can give them is to REevaluate their will to be friends with you and their ability to look within themselves in an effort of self introspection.
Last but not least, friendship is something that you SHARE...
If it is one way, then let it go. This was not friendship.
If someone does not want to be your friend, then tell them bye. Somebody else will be the friend that you have yet to welcome in your life.
If your “so-called” friend always hurts you, disappoints you, puts you through embarrassing situations and never even say: I apologize, I'm sorry for not being the friend whom you deserve, but I am more than willing to try again and be rewarded your trust, then don't push them away, just don't be their fools, in the name of FRIENDSHIP. Giving altruistically is a good thing...giving to ungrateful, unappreciative or greedy people is a mistake.
In my hard times, Miss Trena once told me: “GIVE TO THE NEEDY, NOT THE GREEDY”...I never forgot her words.
If you are in a need of a friend, I will be there for you and you will feel it in your heart; but NEVER expect me to be the fool of your selfishness.
On that word, if you ever blamed someone for not being the friend whom you would want them to be...look at yourself in the mirror for a good minute...WHAT DO YOU SEE? WHERE IS THE FRIEND IN YOU? DO YOU EVER DEMAND FOR THINGS YOU ARE NOT EVEN ABLE TO GIVE? WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE OF FRIENDSHIP? DO YOU EVEN APPRECIATE THE PERSON WHOM YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH? DO YOUR ACTIONS EVER CONTRADICT YOUR WORDS?...
What are FRIENDS really...besides LOVERS?
I'M OUT. PEACE.
*F*A*N*
